Results May Vary: A Formulary for Modern Life

There’s a pill for everything — except being human.Welcome to Caution Pharmaceuticals, Inc., where neuroses are market opportunities and irony is an FDA-approved delivery system. Inside this exquisitely overprescribed volume you’ll find a complete formulary of modern dysfunctions — from Selective Attraction Disorder to Existential Overfunctioning — each with its own mock prescription, side effects, and fine print no one ever reads.Here, the human condition is treated like a clinical trial gone wrong. Every emotion comes with dosage instructions, every regret has a warning label, and somewhere between “consult your therapist” and “in rare cases, may include infection of the perineum,” you might just recognize yourself.Results May Vary is the perfect remedy for anyone suffering from sincerity, overthinking, or an untreated sense of irony. Best taken with caffeine, mild self-awareness, and friends who know how to laugh at themselves.Because sometimes you need to think before you medicate. Read more